April 1, 2015 APRIL FOOLS SATIRE © The Refusers April 1, 2015
Merck has announced the recall of its controversial measles vaccine, following a whistleblower’s claim that study results linking it to autism were covered up.
Problems with the Measles Mumps Rubella vaccine include:
- 12% of all vaccine deaths and injuries attributed to measles vaccines, of the $3 billion paid out by the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program since 1988. Only four conditions are compensated by VICP:
- Brain damage Package insert lists types of brain damage as possible adverse reactions: “encephalitis; encephalopathy; measles inclusion body encephalitis (MIBE), and subacute sclerosing panencephalitis (SSPE).” (These are types of brain swelling and damage.)
- Anaphylactic shock (life-threatening allergic reaction)
- Excessive bruising and bleeding (Thromcytopenic purpura)
- Infecting immunodeficient persons (Measles Viral Infection through shedding of live viruses).
- Aborted fetus cell lines (WI-38, from lung cells of an aborted female baby at approximately twelve weeks of pregnancy used as growth medium.)
“I basically have stopped lying,“ declares CDC scientist whistleblower William Thompson, who admitted he covered up “statistically significant” data linking the M-M-R vaccine to autism.
“Today Merck too wants to come clean,” says Charles Hopewell, spokesman for the pharmaceutical giant. “Merck wishes to make amends for its transgressions by being completely transparent from now on.”
Further, Hopewell states, “Merck apologizes for its part in the PR hype inciting the current measles hysteria, and the resulting rage against unvaccinated individuals. We acknowledge that Merck’s nationwide pressure on state governments to mandate vaccines amounts to nothing less than forced cannibalism and Russian roulette with vaccine injuries, even death.”
We recognize that Merck’s many other vaccines are also problematic for various reasons, and will address this issue at a future date.”
This piece is our annual April Fool’s article. Some of the details herein are true, however, and the article could be suggestive of what Merck might face in the near future, should the company fail to take corrective action.